Rolodex of therapy

When we face someone in so so so much pain, we too dysregulate. Not vicarious trauma. No co-regulation. The situation itself is overwhelming to our human to face this amount of tremendous pain.

So we go to our safe space. Often, we have a safe space inside of the mastery, the knowing we are doing what is needed. But when this is shaken, which happens to all of us, our safe space is external reassurances such as training.

So we jump to checklist of what we could be doing for this person. We jump into the Rolodex of Therapy. We keep asking ourselves “are we doing everything we can?”

This is necessary for ethics and also incredibly disconnecting.

First, there is probably not a lot that they can accept into their brain at this point, and any exercises oriented around calming it down could be important OR could also be stigmatizing of natural and intense emotions such as grief.

Secondly and most importantly, the time you’re spending in the Rolodex, you’re not spending with the participant. Consider spending as little as possible in the Rolodex and as much as you can with the client.

Even asking them what they need from you with words or nonverbally could be more effective than Rolodex.

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